I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
