my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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