Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
