Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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