It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
