two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
