The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
