I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We have so much sex to catch up on
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
