my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
