i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
