what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm like, not good at living.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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