I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
