just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
