i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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