Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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