You're a womanizer and a bitch.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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