Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
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You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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