The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
