she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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