You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
