I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
