I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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