awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
do herpes really smell.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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