You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
