And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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