his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
