my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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