I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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