i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
