Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
kristin has been a bad kristin
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
