It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
