Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Can't talk, ducks in the car
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
