Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
