You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My ass is underappreciated
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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