Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I faked an abortion last night.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
