well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
