So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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