There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
