I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
