I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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