the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize