I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
