i just wanna soil my oats bro
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
