that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
