Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
