u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
