what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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