i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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