I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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