So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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