Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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