well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm just crazy horny about you
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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