Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
