i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
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it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
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Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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