Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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