All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
