Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
