don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
