So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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