4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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