What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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