so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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