i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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